Posted by: Utkarsh | April 9, 2008

Love … as I see it.

How does that feeling of being the world’s greatest painter makes you feel inside? Even though you know that all you have drawn is a bunch of random lines and probably what would best be called as “Scribbled” with different colors on the crumbled page.

How does that feeling of being the most talented student in your class makes you feel even when you stand at “some” point in class where your teacher would probably not even know your name.

I know it feels great. And you might be thinking how useful these false thoughts and fantasies could be. I am talking about those days when we used to be in our Kindergarten or probably above. When we had a world of our own. Our own desires, our own dreams. And just one ray of hope which helped us accomplish those wildest of fantasies. It was our parents. Be it having a vanilla ice cream with an orange bar or even having questions whose answer even God did not know. Every moment in our life was a discovery and our parents were the one who helped us discover things around us. That urge of curiosity which triggered every second never made them irritated or made them give the wrong answer to shut us up.

I still remember the days when we used to play cricket and I always used to hit a six whenever my Dad bowled and got out on duck when I played with my friends. I understand it now…. Oh yes I do. And now I smile when I think of it. I used to come back home with a dull face and my Dad used to take me to the lawn to have me bat so that I can regain my so called confidence. That is the kind of patience and diligence and love and what not… I talk about here. Even now when I get a job offer from some crappy company, or get a B- instead of an A I never hear a word of discouragement from them. I dunno how they say or what they say, but it always makes me feel better, makes me feel confident.

This makes me wonder what are WE doing to make them happy, make them free of all the worries, and make them feel that ” We are there….with them.” It feels so bad from inside when my Dad calls me with a problem that he has been getting this Virus Definition alert from the computer time and again, or he getting tired standing all day outside in the sun having our house white-washed. The solution might be as small as clicking on that stupid balloon near the task bar and click OK to download the virus definitions or having him sit inside the room and me having the house painted standing outside. But its just that I am not there to help him out with these tiny little situations. When I find myself so far far away from them, it hurts a little inside. I know I am doing this to have a better life ahead, earn lots of money and eventually be “able” to live with them, and be a part of all the troubles all the worries they might possibly have in their life. But what about now? What about this present moment? Am I not able?

The most essential thing which I feel we can give our parents is to be with them…. be with them when they need us the most. This is what I think. This is what my Mom always tells me whenever we chat online. That all she wants now is to be with the family. Such a low key affair in return to what they have given us all through their lives. This is the kind of love I talk about here which never asks you for anything, just keeps telling you to be safe, happy and sound.

They’ve always been there when we’ve needed them. And I am determined to repay( though I can never in my life… or in my seven lives ahead.. if there are) each and every single bit of it with all the happiness I can, all the fun I can by just “being there” now when “They” need us.

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Responses

  1. Its good and touching.. falling short of words.. i guess its an exemplary thought proces.. I hope it never changes in times to come .. ……………

  2. Jeete raho dost :)

  3. The concept of ‘unconditional love’ rings true in this honest outpouring of diasporic nostalgia. You have quite the knack to draw for the transient reader, a picture perfect image of reminisces.

    Thank you Utkarsh, for the wonderful read as well as the kind comment you left on my blog. Will return to read more for when you post.

    – The Ghettofabulous Party Pimp :]

  4. True. Parents do a lot for their kids..we can just be there whenever they need us.

  5. […] love…as I see it […]


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