How free are we really today. How often do we do things WE really want. I dont think its too frequent.
While walking down the vista near the design building at my university, I just wondered. How is that feeling of doing something amazing, something which your heart always wants to do. Be it just running across the street and shouting on the top of your lungs after getting your first job offer, flunking school to sit and relax some day, or even trying out for an exam even though you know you would fail, but giving it just because you always wanted to. This might sound a bit stupid but just peep into yourself and see if that urge exists. I am sure it does. It is just that we don’t follow it. Why ? No one knows.
For me the most important thing a person does in life are things what he really wants( and i talk about the positive things ). I cant explain it more. Maybe having a bit extra spice in your food someday even though your doc forbids you, partying late that one time even if your parents dont allow, studying overnight even though you know you might get a migraine attack the next day or even trying for something unachievable. I don’t know. I guess I can go on and on. It really doesn’t matter. Cuz its you who has to decide what you really want to do. And its not at all related to your career, your prospects, your exams and all those bullshit. Its just “something”. Its just that one time, that one time, when you should allow that feeling to sink in that you followed what your heart wanted. No one understands. Really, no one would ever do. No use elucidating. Its your eccentricity which defines it.
Life is short. And I’m not being pessimistic. It really is for people who enjoy it. And what do we do with it? We end up following not what WE want, but what others around us want. We keep ourselves busy to pacify others rather than soothing our own spirit. And please, that is nothing philanthropic I am talking about. Instead I find it stupid. Because you never realize your deeds. You just keep doing it, just following what others say to you, just being that one sheep in a gigantic herd. I know its not always black and white. But sometimes you gotto make it, just to at the least know what you as a person want.
Last week I did something which my heart desired. I ended up hurting a couple of people whom I did not even care about, but still, I am not one of those. My friend helped me take that decision. He made me realize how important it is to follow your own dreams which you have in life. I was afraid that I am not being considerate. This is not how I have been. No Absolutely not. But then what followed was something inexplicable. Something which only I in this whole world experienced. That sense of pride. That sense of confidence of being “able”. That sense of happiness and control. I know that this was something important for my life ahead. But this post is not only about “those big things”. Its also about those small and tiny little situations where you get stuck almost daily and end up letting go of what you wanted to with them. Either being idealistic, being so called philanthropic, or even being foolish. What I realized before writing this post was that these type of circumstances keep occurring in our diurnal life. Every day, every moment. When there is something which just binds you in its own. That very thing which you want. But you do not follow it because of some or the other reason.
This not something we should be doing, is what I think. I don’t aspire to be selfish. I wish to always help people and to always do good things in life. But I also want not to forget that dormant urge which resides within me. And asks me for a couple of seconds from my own life. Cuz instead of doing any harm, it brings a feeling of pride, makes me happy. I have experienced it and that is what makes me write all that I have.
While walking down the vista near the design building at my university, it just occurred to me that I was there to have an SLR camera checked out from my IT services department. I know I don’t do photography. I know I don’t have that ‘eye’ in me to click those scenic snaps which you find on those yearly calendars. But still………… I am there……….cuz I realized that I wanted to.