Posted by: Utkarsh | February 22, 2008


I wont start this post by saying “It was long overdue… ” No I Won’t. I beleive its the thought process as to how much time it takes to really materialize into something which is concrete and expressible. I know there have been lots of happenings since the time I really wrote something. And there are even more which are happening now. Hard to really handle even a few of them.

This internship crap is on now for quite a while now. No Really. From applying in companies, to getting opportunities , to turning into interviews, to waiting for results and eventually turning to bullshit. No no !! I am really not exaggerating. I get an offer. Still I apply. I get more interviews. Those go well. But now I am in a dilemma that if I get selected in another one how will I refuse the offer I already accepted? But then, one of the opportunities I was thinking would come, din’t actually. So I am back.. But then again…. phone calls.. interviews.. And again the same dilemma… But why should I even think about it when i have not gotten any other offer. Heh heh ..!! Being optimistic ???? No I’m not.. Still What if ??!@##$$% And in the end… I tell my mind…. just S..H…U…T………..UP

I have been planning to buy a laptop for quite sometime now. Sitting in my design class and also seeing others in the lab, inspired me to look into MACs. I really loved them. The sleek design, the cool look, the milky white colors… and everything. But i missed one thing… the COST.. yes it was equal to what I earn in a month in this RA I have. And the most imp thing…. the software on which my thesis was going to be in the times to come was not compatible on a MAC… So that made me a bit discouraged towards them but I was still researching … And it was just yesterday when I decided to hell with it and buy a PC because my pocket allows it… and so I was determined. But again in that stupid design class someone told me “Hey you can always dual boot a MAC and load windows on it” And then the thots began…. So I can dual boot a MAC… hmm Ok… so if I am able to put windows on it my problem of that software is gone… Hmm that means I can buy a MAC… but hey… why the hell should I put some crappy windows on an awesome MAC??? Won’t that be stupid??? Why not buy a PC half the price….. Hmm that means I cannot buy a MAC… But if I buy a MAC I would get that cool interface and stuff… But why the hell do you want to put windows when u r buying a MAC…. !@#$%^&*&*((( And then I tell my mind.. .Shut the F*** up… And now I am “again” determined to buy a PC.

I also sometimes wonder that where do these aspirations and ambitions which a person has takes him or her. How far do they go in life… How successful they are. With little thought I come to the conclusion that it definitely takes them to new heights, transcending boundaries of thoughts and reaching new altitudes… And yes… It is definitely not easy. Its like rowing your very small wooden boat in the middle of a gargantuan sea, against the shores, against the wind. Yeah I know its tough !!..

But there is something which they do not realize while they row away. “Something” very significant. “Something” which actually made them capable of having that boat and be able to go and sit on that. “Something” which taught them HOW to row a boat in a wild sea without fail. “Something”, at the least, which told them “Its a boat” before they even knew it was. And the irony of the matter is that they use the same skills to get away from that “something” which in reality made them capable of doing it. With every stroke they make in that wild sea they get far away from that very own. They get far away from the “shore”. Yes the shore is what I am talking about…. And do I even write more about this ?? I guess No….

Really lots of things happening….. And in the end they all start making sense… Be it the internship thingy, as to I’ll go where I am destined to, no matter how much I beat about the bush. Be it the laptop stuff, where I know I’ll end up buying a PC (something inside me keeps telling me) or be it the Going away from the shore thing… where I know that I would definitely return to that “something”.. and that would be pretty soon.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: