After much pondering and googl’ing( :) thats what i like calling my searches) I finally decided that I would choose wordpress as my next blogging site. Initially I was with MSN spaces which, i dunno why was too .. what u call… “bulky” and “loud” in appearance , which eventually led me not writing any blogs over there.
Life is flooded with events these days. Be it my inability to work, or the cloak of depression shrouding my mind, or even my computer crashing sometimes. They havnt said it wrong, when things start going the opposite way, you seem to connect every thing around you with it. A vivid example pops up in my mind. Its like you have been in office all day, looking at the same code, the same if-else, but it just does not starts working. Your professor also does not seem to be happy with your progress. And then to add to the weeping mind it just clicks.. “Oh damn!! i still have to start off with that project”. You are taken down with the work and you decide to go home to take some rest. You go home and you lit the gas to prepare some tea. And to end it when the tea is half boiling, you see, you are out of sugar. It wasn’t meant to finish the exact same day when you were so depressed. Hell No. It just finished. But your bereaved mind starts relating everything to the situation in which you mind dwells.
My this weekend did not go useless. I learned very essential things of life. It was to remain happy. Ya ya you guys must be thinking its no “Eureka” stuff I did. But trust me this is what I now understand your mind must be in. And the coolest thing is we keep searching for it all over the world. Some search it by going to their favorite pizza place, or watching your favorite movie with friends, or even sleeping and snoring the whole day. The next day they are happy. Or i should say they “seem” to be happy. But inconspicuously, they slowly and slowly creep in the same state of mind as they were before. Because they never gained happiness. Because it was never “out there”. This is something which resides within and comes out from the same. It comes out when YOU want it to. When YOU WANT to be happy you remain happy. No one stops you from being so. And when you become, it really lights every single dark thing around you. Every little despondent stuff starts looking good. You even come to know that the new sugar packet you got the other day is kept in the store room. And so no more groping for it.
But then, it is YOU who really would want to have happiness come out. And trust me, it never resists. You dont need to spend those extra bucks buying pizza and watching movies. All you need is the “desire” to be jovial. Every one has it. I can bet everyone does.
All you need is to introspect & realize……
And this is what I call “myRealization”.